Yellow

 Dress: Ruche, Shoes: Aldo, (camera)Bag: Theit

Yellow is one of my favorite colors.  Probably in the top two.  Just something about the sunniness of it, I guess… I’m drawn to yellow clothing and accessories, and yellow is one of “the colors” of my kitchen. 

It’s funny, I’ll always remember trying on a yellow t-shirt at good ol’ Abercrombie and Fitch back in the day when that was the thing to wear, and I came out of the dressing room to show the boyfriend at the time, who promptly informed me that yellow definitely isn’t my color.  I didn’t wear it for years after that (silly how negative things people say stick in our mind, isn’t it?), but recently I decided to ditch the idea and wear it proudly anyway.  What did he know?

On another note, if you happened to notice my eye makeup in the first photo is a little smokier than normal, well, you’re right!  Check back tomorrow for a post on a fun little event with Radiant Cosmetics that I had the pleasure of attending!  Champagne, cupcakes, and cosmetics, anyone?  Yes, please!

Happy Monday…

Sunday Thoughts

I’ve been having stomach issues for two weeks now, and it’s gotten to the point that I’m sort of a wreck… tired and lethargic all the time due to lack of nutrients, and grumpy and quick to anger because I’m always hungry.  Earlier today I was sitting on the couch with Gracie and Cooper, when Cooper took off running and barking towards the front door (as he often does, for no reason… I joke that “he heard an earthworm moving a mile away”), and then Gracie, who was partially on my lap, followed suit and bolted after him, knocking my water glass out of my hand and sending its icy contents flying.  Well, an event like this one would have normally pissed me off, but this time it sent me into a rage, and I was probably screaming expletives and definitely slamming kitchen drawers unnecessarily as I went to find a towel.  Point is, some stuff’s not right inside my body at the moment (and don’t worry, I’m going to the doctor again tomorrow).
However, during these last couple weeks of mild suffering and my first time ever experiencing real, lasting hunger, I’ve been humbled to think of just how my problems stack up to that of others’.  Yesterday my mom tearfully recounted an exchange between her and Edd in their bathroom, when he was just so overcome by the effects of his chemo, which included intensely painful mouth sores on his lips, inside his mouth, down his throat and, we learned later, also out the other end.  The cancer and the treatments were merciless to Edd, and this was just one of the many horrible side effects he endured in his last months.  It made eating very painful and obviously no longer enjoyable, if not impossible.  Another of life’s pleasures snatched away from him.
Edd was saying to my mom, “I just don’t know what to do… I don’t know what else to do.”
And since he never seemed to, ever, bring this up or even consider it a possibility, my mom said to him quietly, “you could stop taking chemo, you know.”
She said Edd blinked a few times, and slowly some sort of realization washed over his face.  Like he’d never thought of that before.
After a moment, he said, “…But then I’ll die.”
And they cried there in the bathroom together.  It was the first time they’d considered that possibilty—giving up—letting the cancer win. 
That story touched me so deeply, and like I said, humbles me.  The things that man endured.  The reality he lived. 
And the things we complain about! It’s disgusting. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve found myself praying the feeble prayer that God will take away my stomach virus or bacteria or ulcer or whatever the hell it is that’s causing my issues, but then I caught myself.  I don’t know if I want to pray for God to take away my suffering anymore, now or in any other area of my life.  Or maybe I still will, but I think I’ll understand a little better if he doesn’t, and I’ll be a little braver.   People all over this world are experiencing far more unthinkable pain than you or I will maybe ever feel, and it puts things into perspective when you see that.  When you watch someone live it.  When you know it could happen to you, or someone you love.  It helps you to not take things for granted, and to live a little more in each moment. 
I have a feeling that Edd’s cancer and his suffering and his passing will be teaching me things, and also giving me courage, for many years to come. 

TGIF

Thank God it’s Friday, no?  Yesterday was Matthew’s last class of his first year of law school, and this weekend he’ll start “hunkering down,” so to speak, in preparation for finals starting Monday…  Which basically means I don’t have a husband for the next two weeks.  Awesome! (sarcasm.)

I’m thrilled, though, that we made it through this first year that everyone says is the hardest, and we’re still married and we still like each other.  Win for Team MJ! Thanks to everyone who offered up great advice and encouragement in posts like this one back in August! 

Anyway, here’s a little weekend reading for you.  These people rock.

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Suz over at Suzels Says is a gorgeous Southern girl just starting off her career as a wedding photographer and sharing her life with her handsome boyfriend (who happens to play baseball for the White Sox!  Cool, huh?).  Suz is incredibly sweet and talented, and I’ve so enjoyed getting to know her through her fast-growing and evolving blog.  A fun coffee mug swap going on here until the end of April! Check her out.

 Blog

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Meet Kimberly, the face behind Wanderlustee!  Kimberly lives in the fabulous NYC (though she says she’s not much of a city girl) and blogs about her extensive travels and her life as a Spanish teacher in the South Bronx (her most recent post on “a lesson in lingo” cracked me up!).  Kimberly is super funny, and I know you’ll love her… so get over there and introduce yourself!

  Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Britt is the brains behind the Magnolia Pair, a wonderful lifestyle blog that covers everything from life as a newlywed and med school wife, to delicious recipes, to funny stories like this one!  Britt and her husband are moving into a new home this summer (I’m a sucker for these types of things), so stay tuned for more excitement!  This girl is a sweetheart, and it’s been wonderful to watch her blog grow.  Go say hello!

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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And last but not least, we have the fabulous Misikko.com, home to the BEST hair dryers and flat irons known to man, seriously!  See a review I wrote for my new Hana hairdryer here… I meant every word I said, and if you’re in the market for some new styling tools, you MUST consider Misikko.  They’re a fabulous company, and they love bloggers.  We support them, they support us!  Win-win. 

Website

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Have a happy Friday!

People do what they want to do, part II

While I was in college and during the year Matthew and I did the long distance thing, I lived in a tiny little two bedroom, one bath house built in the 1950’s.  That house had ugly green carpets, a bit of a roach problem, and was terribly drafty… I remember the walls in winter being ice cold, and in the summer the AC ran almost all day long.  But I loved that little house, and I was proud to call it home, despite all the troubles that come with renting an older place. 

I remember always feeling overwhelmed, though.  I had one bathroom, and I couldn’t keep it clean.  A bedroom that was always strewn with clothes and textbooks and other miscellaneous junk.  900 square feet of space, and yet I couldn’t keep the carpets clean or the kitchen tidy or the yard manicured. 

Now I know part of that just has to do with being young and busy and inexperienced in such matters (up until that point, I’d only had to keep a bedroom clean).  But sometimes I look back on that and think to myself how pathetic it was that I couldn’t keep up with that place.  I was busy, but not that busy.  What it came down to was that I was just lazy and didn’t understand my own potential to get things done and, yes, still have time to relax. 

The result was that I always felt guilty, always felt behind, never had that “ahhhhhh…” feeling of a clean home and an organized life.  Now don’t get me wrong—I definitely haven’t perfected all this yet.  Quite the contrary.  But looking back on my past and also watching people I admire, like my husband, and the way they tackle all the tasks set before them has been a learning experience for me over the last couple of years.  I’ve learned that almost all of my limitations are self-imposed, and I’m working on training myself to be another way, even though it doesn’t really come natural to me. 

The second post I ever wrote on this blog was titled “people do what they want to do,” and it was about just that. If someone isn’t keeping up with things they should be in their life, it’s because they don’t want to. There are other things more important to them, and they haven’t developed the habits to do the things they should before they do the things they want.  And I guess my challenge to myself lately (and now maybe you?) is to do the things you should, and just maybe, when you develop those good habits, they’ll become the things you want.  I’m seeing this happen in my own life!  Slowly, but surely.  I’m taking an active role in my life—making actionable plans, and then carrying them out.  I even have an accountability partner I “check in” with via Skype every day, and it’s been helping SO much. 

We’re all so different.  Some of us are “take the bull by the horns” types, maybe because of our personalities or our upbringing, etc.  But I believe that, even if you’re not, you can train yourself to be.  You can make your life something you’re proud of, whether you’re a student, a stay at home mom, a small business owner, or climbing up the corporate ladder (and everything in between). 

Just some random thoughts I’m thinking today. Hope it’s a good one for you! 

(not sure of image source)

My Canon has style.

How incredibly cute is this camera strap?!  Sort of makes me happy just looking at it.  I’m the proud new owner of a Gussy Sews “eclectic whatnot,” and I just wanted to spread the love. Gussy is a really inspiring small business owner with a great blog and lots and lots of cute handmade goodness in her shop, so check it out if you’re interested! 

I’ve been falling more and more in love with this photography thing, and I know it because all the “work” part of it doesn’t feel like work.  I’m learning Lightroom and CS5 right now, and it. is. so. fun. 

Of course, cute lil’ camera straps don’t hurt either (they’re 10% off til May 4th with the coupon code STORYOFMYLIFE).  I really adore this yellow one too…  

Have a great evening!

Dreaming of Pizza…

…And cheese and milk and milky cereal and fried chicken and cheeseburgers and cake. Heck, I’d even take a big fat salad or a plate full of vegetables.  It would be 100x better than my diet as of late, which has included more rice, toast, applesauce, and bananas than I ever thought I’d eat.  Yep, still fighting off a stomach bug.  (We can talk about stuff like that here, right? We’re cool like that?)  I even went to the doctor the other day, and he just told me this could last a couple weeks (we’re working on the second week right now) and that I’ll probably survive if I stop eating cereal for every meal.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and mourning the fact that everything delicious upsets my stomach terribly, so I thought I would further the torture by posting tantalizing photos from dinner at Home Slice the other night.  Neither Rachel or I had ever been there, so while we were hitting up South Congress for a mini portrait session, we slipped in to grab some pizza, and ohmygosh was it the best decision of my life.  Seriously, Austinites, if you haven’t tried Home Slice, GO IMMEDIATELY.  This pizza rivals the best of the best in NYC.  We got the Margherita, and I just shed a tear while thinking of it. 

Now excuse me while I go sip Pedialyte and cry over my applesauce…

PS – Have you entered the Blowfish giveaway yet? A free pair of shoes up for grabs!

These Faces…

They melt me.

I have always been so thankful to have the company of Gracie and Cooper.  When I was in school and worked outside my home, my poor pups spent way more time locked up and alone than they should have, but now I’m determined to make it up to them.  We have regular little love fests all throughout each day, and at night we all pile into bed for even more cuddles.  Cooper’s skin turns pink at night, and he likes to randomly fall over onto his back (we call it the “timber!”), and Gracie likes to lay in a ball as close to our faces as possible, where she will then snore loudly. 

Luckily, I have a husband who is just as in love with these two as I am, and oh the things they get away with!  They’re rotten through and through, but for all the extra vacuuming and washing and repairing and exclaiming things like “why the !#*% is there a poop smear on the couch?!” I feel like I’m given SO much more back in return.

I guess I just want their little lives to be the best thing ever.  I know they won’t be with us forever, but while they’re here, I’m gonna love the hell out of ‘em.  I know you other dog lovers understand (and maybe you cat people too, though I’m not entirely certain…)  ;P

Give your furry friends extra kisses tonight!

An outfit and… A free pair of Blowfish shoes, anyone?

 Shirt: Gap, Pants: Madewell, Bag: Theit, Shoes: c/o Blowfish—the “Gelines”, Necklace: Stella & Dot

The incredibly awesome folks at Blowfish are offering up another free pair of shoes (your choice!) to one lucky SOML reader, and I would just like to say that the ones I’m wearing in the photos above are ridiculously comfortable for having high heels.  I am exceedingly awkward in heels (ask my husband—I’m a liability) and usually have blisters and/or am limping within a half hour of spending any time in shoes that aren’t slippers, but these are so comfy that it’s weird. 

Anyway, enter below for your chance to win!

View Full Album

To enter:
(only mandatory entry)

+ “Like” Blowfish on Facebook and leave a comment here letting me know you did! Please leave your email address if it’s not on your profile.

For extra entries:
(all represented by separate comments, please)

+ Browse the shoe selection at Blowfish and leave a comment here with one of your favorite pairs
+ Follow Blowfish on Twitter
+ Follow Blowfish on Pinterest
+ “Like” Story of My Life on Facebook

Good luck!

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And the winner of last week’s Dave Owens music giveaway is…

Thanks for the support, Margaret… we’ll be in touch! :)

Some words, some pictures, and a song.

I’m feeling strangely stifled this morning.  I woke up excited about a new day and a new week… ready to be honest and open about my feelings and share a little more about Edd’s passing 4 weeks ago tomorrow.  I wrote it all out. It was cathartic, and I cried… a lot… as I typed. 

But then I couldn’t hit publish.  I read what I wrote over and over again, and it just wasn’t enough.  It was just a string of sentences tied together by commas and periods and ellipses. It was just facts. And it didn’t fully express what we experienced… what EDD experienced.  It felt too private, it felt cold, and it felt not good enough.

So I guess right now, until the time comes (if it comes) when I’m ready to write more about the enormity of this thing that happened and that changed me, I just want to acknowledge that no matter what I write here, no matter what kind of sunny posts you see (because those are so much easier to write), it still hurts.  I’m still working through it, as I know my mom is and my step brothers are and everyone else who was deeply touched by Edd’s life and death.  I imagine it will all come out in bits and pieces over the next months and years, and even though it goes without saying, I’m sure, I just wanted to say that even though we carry on and live our lives and eat out at restaurants and take pretty pictures and laugh sometimes, there’s always a part of me (and my family) that’s grieving.  You learn to live with that grief, because there’s no other choice.

A wonderful reader named Sam left a comment a while back that really stuck with me, and I wrote it on a little piece of paper and left it on my mom’s pillow the night before Edd’s funeral, and she even read it at the service.  It said, “someday you’ll walk around the hole in your heart instead of falling in it.” 

For now, though, I think we’re all still falling in it.

One last thing… I found this quote the other day, and it really blew me away.  I wanted to share it here too, for anyone who might need to hear it:

“I actually attack the concept of happiness. I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying 'write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep', and 'cheer up' and 'happiness is our birthright' and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say 'Quick! Move on! Cheer up!' I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word 'happiness' and to replace it with the word 'wholeness'. Ask yourself 'is this contributing to my wholeness?' and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”

Hugh Mackay, psychologist and social researcher

I like to think that all of this is contributing to my wholeness, and for that I am grateful. 

1. Gracie baby
2. .25 cent books from the Austin citywide garage sale yesterday
3. My gorgeous necklace by Megan
4. Coop.
5. Cute grandparents
6. The prettiest little egg we found in our backyard
Hope you have a wonderful Monday…

Friday Features

Alas, Friday!  I’m happy to have made it to the end of this week without any more major mishaps, and I’m happy that I have a handful of fabulous bloggers to hand it over to today…  These girls all have excellent blogs, so share some love with ‘em.

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Taking Notes… Coast to Coast is a lifestyle blog by the ever-so-sweet Danielle, who moved across country to be with her man (they’re engaged now!), started a blog, got a dog… you know, all the good stuff!  I have so enjoyed watching the progression of Danielle’s blog, watching Huckleberry grow up (he was just a pup when Danielle started sponsoring SOML!), and reading wonderful posts like this one that prove what an excellent writer this girl is.  You’ll love her. 

Blog | Facebook

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Jenzie is a blog by miss Jenn, a fabulous Florida based event planner with a real eye for PRETTY and a devotion to all things natural and organic. Jenn and her husband spent the last year traveling all over Europe (check out stories from their travels!), but now that they’ve settled back down on U.S. soil, the blog is taking a new and fresh turn… and I like it.  Gorrrrrrgeous images abound, so head on over and be inspired.

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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Hollie Takes Notes is a super fun blog by its hilarious author, Hollie.  Hollie and her sweet boyfriend live in San Diego and do awesome things together like fly in private planes over the city… jealous yet?!  This girl is always good for a chuckle, so drop on by and make an awesome new blog friend!

Blog | Twitter

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Kelly blogs over at Eat Yourself Skinny, one of my most favorite food blogs!  It has been incredible to watch Kelly’s blog grow over the past year—this girl is dedicated to quality posts with gorgeous pictures of healthy food recipes, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll find yourself drooling all over your keyboard. I’ll be trying this recipe some time soon! Have fun browsing this wonderful blog…

Blog | Facebook | Twitter

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And have a happy Friday! :)

They can’t all be winners…

I’ve been in a glass case of emotion this week, y’all.  Allergies? Check. A relentless stomach bug? Check. Accidently dying my hair black? Check. Falling down the stairs yesterday and almost dying and/or becoming paralyzed from the waist down? CHECK. 

Seriously, you should see the bruise on my tailbone.  It’s downright scary looking. I feel lucky I (hopefully) didn’t do any permanent damage, and it also occurred to me that it’s sort of a miracle it took me over two years to fall down our stairs, given my track record of supreme awkwardness.

But today!  Today is Thursday, and a brand new day.  I can hardly believe we’re already almost to the weekend, but I guess time really flies when you’re having fun (not).  Today I’ll be editing pictures, visiting the oral surgeon to make sure my friend the cyst isn’t taking over my face again, and other miscellaneous tasks I needn’t bore you with.  What I will bore you with is another outfit, cause I thought this one was pretty cute. 

Happy Thursday!

Dress: Ruche, Shoes: c/o Blowfish, Belt: J.Crew, Bag: Theit, Necklace: c/o Shabby Apple, Bracelet: vintage, Ring: Premier Designs, Nailpolish: Essie

The thing(s) about writing

Being a writer is one of my most defining characteristics.  I feel like one of the lucky people in this life who were just born knowing what they should do, and writing is it for me.  It’s one reason why I think this blog has been fairly successful, because it’s coming from a place inside me where I am in my element (this is a fabulous post that really hit home the other day, about being in your element). 

Sometimes, usually when I’m driving in my car, I become so lost in these stories in my head that I switch to autopilot and, however many minutes or hours later, I find I’ve reached my destination and have no real memory of how I got there.  Dangerous? Maybe.  But my point is… the stories.  They’re in there!  The characters are already a part of me, even though they’re undeveloped. 

A while back I became obsessed with the idea of writing a novel, and I set out to do it.  I’m most inspired by music, so I created playlists that really fed my creativity, and I would spend hours “brainstorming.”  (by the way, brainstorming for a writer looks a lot like sleeping or meditation… or insanity.)  I had some ideas I liked—some characters I really wanted to develop further—and I was more excited than I’d been in a long time!  I was gonna do this!

But you know what I wound up writing of that novel?  The sex scene.  Like, just the sex scene.  But it was awesome. 

And when the rest of it never really happened, because I just didn’t quite feel ready yet, I realized something, and Henry David Thoreau says it best: 

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. 

I remember something Edd said to me, and it was what sort of got me thinking on this topic.  We were talking about writing as a profession and he said something like “I guess in order to be a writer you have to have life experiences.” 

And then I scratched my head and was all, “well, shit.”

Because I’m way more comfortable sitting in my pjs in my comfy house behind my nice, safe computer screen.  But I don’t know if that’s how it works, with writing.  Your writing will only ever be one dimensional, if you’re going about it that way.  In order to really convince your readers, you have to have felt things yourself, to an extent.  Not saying you have to be in an adulterous relationship to write about one or something, but do you need to have depth and dimension to you to write characters of depth and dimension? I think so.

I guess lately I’ve been challenging myself to experience things and feel things more fully, because as a writer, our experiences feed our craft.  But this might be uncomfortable for me!  You know… doing stuff.  Following other dreams.  Meeting people.  Taking life up on some of what it has to offer.  Even embracing the awkward and not-so-perfect scenarios, whatever they may be. 

I think, as a writer, one of the very best things you can do for your craft is to live.  And then, while you’re living, it’s also important to do a couple other things, like write more than just the sex scene…

Holy crap.

How gorgeous is she?

Man, I love taking pictures of pretty people. Thanks for letting me practice on you, Rachel!! :)

Dave Owens Music Giveaway

I’m doing something a little different with today’s giveaway, and I must say, I’m pretty excited about it!  A little Dave Owens is up for grabs, my friends… Dave Owens music, that is.  Dave Owens himself is already taken by the lovely Mallorie… sorry, ladies! ;P 

But in all seriousness, Dave Owens is a wonderful, soulful musician currently making his way here in Austin, and I’m doing my part to help spread the word about his fab Dave Matthews meets John Mayer vibe. This guy is going places—he’s already signed licensing deals with MTV, VH1, E!, Viacom, and Oxygen! Whew!!  Pretty awesome, huh?  So get on board while you can, and when he hits it big, you can say you were one of the first loyal fans.

The winner of today’s giveaway will take home TWO of his “Love Via Music” albums—one to keep for yourself, and one to give to a friend.  I’m a proud owner of an album myself, and below is my favorite song to play while you enter the giveaway (you can listen to other songs from the album here!).  Prepare to melt, ladies… it’s a short song, but it’s amazing…

 

To Enter:
(only mandatory entry)

+ Please follow Dave Owens Music on Twitter, or if you don’t have Twitter, “like” the Dave Owens Music Facebook page. Leave me a comment letting me know you did so, and be sure and leave your email address if it’s not on your profile!

For extra entries:
(all represented by separate comments please)

+ Like the Dave Owens Music Facebook page
+ Like the Story of My Life Facebook page
+ Share one of Dave’s songs to your Facebook page using the tools here (hover the mouse over the song you’d like to share)

If you’d like a little instant gratification, the Love Via Music album is available for download on iTunes, or you can order it here and have a physical copy mailed to you. You can also check the blog for upcoming show dates if you’re in Austin and want to check him out. Dave and Mallorie thank you for your support!

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And the winner of last week’s Rustic Living giveaway is…

Congrats Celeste! I’ll be in touch! :)

A day at the farm

It was one of those really good weekends that you wind down from feeling refreshed and ready for a new week, you know what I mean?  I got to spend an inordinate amount of time with my husband, drinking tea and watching movies and taking naps and sometimes crying because life still feels so funny right now.  But it was all still good. 

Saturday morning we took a little trip to Boggy Creek Farm, one of my favorite spots in town for homegrown, organic produce and other fun seasonal treats, like strawberry essence tea.  If you’re in Austin and haven’t been by Boggy Creek Farm yet, I recommend you get there asap!  Such a fun little place.   I read in the Edible Austin publication for spring that this little farm house was built in 1840, and people have been born in it and people have died in it, and it’s still a part of the land there—a part of the history.  And I just think that’s so neat! 

Here are some pictures from the outing…
 

Grandpa :)

 

PS – It’s sort of interesting to look back on this post I wrote about Boggy Creek Farm a year and a half ago… things sure have changed around here since then! Ha!

PPS – Clearly Megan and I were on the same wavelength this weekend! What are the odds?!

Happy Monday. :)