A bad case of Sleepy Face

I woke up late this morning. My alarm was set for my usual 6:45, but somehow I managed to hit snooze every 10 minutes for over an hour, because when I finally woke up enough to be fully conscious, I was digging around for my iPhone buried deep under my duvet while Hedwig's Theme (yes, that is my alarm, stop judging) was playing for what must have been the umpteenth time. Naturally, the first thing I thought of was CRAP, I have nothing to blog about this morning and I'm getting such a late start! And also naturally, that lead to an outfit post - my Go To when all else fails.

The thing about these particular outfit photos is that, in my opinion anyway, my face looks like it literally just rolled out of bed. (perhaps because it did.) My bottle cap lens glasses truly help to enhance the look, as well. If you think these pictures look fairly normal, then you should see the ones that got left out. My eyes were almost closed in some of them, and it literally looked like I might fall asleep standing up.

SO, excuse me while I continue to caffeinate myself and potentially also dunk my head in a bowl of ice water. That'll do the trick.

{ shirt: Target (past season), Scarf: c/o Pink Bow Bath Boutique (coupon code STORYOFMYLIFE for 15% off your order from the shop!), Jacket: c/o Taylor and Stylist (coupon code STORYOFMYLIFE10 for 10% off your purchase!), Jeans: Madewell (past season), Glasses: Coastal.com (not sure if it's still going on, but I used the code FIRSTPAIRFREE to get my frames at no charge!), Shoes: c/o Blowfish (past season), Bag: Kate Spade (past season) }

Happy Monday!

Tidbits

I feel like I shouldn't even start another post without acknowledging what happened here yesterday. The "marital blish" post struck an obvious chord with so many, and I truly enjoyed and appreciated your responses to my thoughts. It's apparent to me, now, that so many of us really crave authenticity from people--we all sort of bond best over those things that make us vulnerable and human and flawed, don't you think? Anyway, thank you again for the very thoughtful comments yesterday, and for taking the time to read a little about our experience.

Speaking of marital "blish," Matthew seems to have come down with strep throat just in time for our anniversary celebration this weekend... poor guy. Looks like we'll be sitting down to some brothy chicken soup instead of filet mignon tonight, but that's OK. I love that guy, and there will be other days for filet mignon.

In entirely unrelated news, how cute is this Harry Potter mug? My best friend had it FedExed to my doorstep last week, and I have already had my coffee in it at least 14 times.

from here, though she sells out about as quickly as she stocks them, apparently. I think you can convo her for an email when more mugs are in stock!

And now, please enjoy a little visit to today's featured sponsors. These ladies are both rising stars in The Land of Blog... both hilarious and fantastic reads. You won't be disappointed!

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If you haven't yet been by Erin's blog, Living In Yellow, than you have definitely been living a dark and lonely, despair-filled existence. OK, so perhaps that's being a tad bit dramatic, but really. Erin has been lighting up the world lately with her hilarious posts (did you SEE the one about SECRETS? I literally spent an entire evening reading the comments. Couldn't rip myself away), incredible blogging tips (she is even doing blog consulting now! what an amazing idea!), and otherwise awesome content that will surprise and amuse you each and every day. Fall in love with her first over here, then dive into the archives. I'm so confident you'll be glad you did. :)

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Next up is adorable Alexa of Southern Living, Our Way. Alexa never. fails. to make me laugh and smile (I mean, just check out today's post, and you'll get a tiny little taste of her funny sense of humor... and then go read the rest of them, while you're at it). You might also like to stop in over at the about page for a little meet and great session, just before heading over to Alexa and Glenn's wedding photos, which will totally make you smile and possibly also drool a little bit. Go forth and conquer! This is another great read I'm happy to introduce you to.

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Happy Friday, everyone!

3 years of marital blish

No my friends, that's not a typo up there. I just made up a new word. It means bliss-ish. Kind of sort of bliss, but not really.  Read on.

Today is me and Matthew's three year wedding anniversary... we met almost exactly one year before our wedding, so we've been together now about four years. Four years! I know some of you lifers say pashaaww, that's nothing. But to me, it's something. It's now the longest relationship I've been in, which is pretty neat.

I get a lot of visitors to our love story, and a lot of emails thanking me for writing it. The other day I reread the thing in its entirety, and while it brought back some lovely memories and totally made me smile, I couldn't help but think how very incomplete the story is. How much has happened since. How much we've learned, changed, grown, and are still growing. And I feel like it's time I set the record straight on how I feel about marriage. Or mine, anyway.

When you're in a relationship - married or just dating - and especially if you're having some routine problems like most people do at some point, it's easy to look at other couples, or read blogs about other couples, and feel inferior. You start to hear this little voice inside that's saying "they seem happier than you do. more compatible. her husband is totally more handy than yours. more fashionable. more agreeable. more successful. they probably make a ton of money. they probably have sex five times a week. I bet they don't argue about the dumb shit we do. I bet she's a better wife, and never complains. I bet he's a better husband, and treats her like a queen." And so on and so forth.

And you know what? Maybe some of those things are true. Maybe they really are the perfect couple, and maybe they really are happier than you, at this moment in time. I guess I can't really speak for all those other hypothetical perfect couples. But I can speak for us. And let me tell you, marriage can get rough sometimes. You know all that stuff I said in our love story about the law of attraction? Totally still true, but it gets more difficult to implement that law when life starts chucking lemons at you, when the day in and day out gets real monotonous, when you have health issues, work issues, financial problems, the stress of continuing education (hello, law school!), family drama, personal problems, or when you find you disagree on major issues or the direction of your lives. What do you do then?

I'm chuckling to myself, because Matthew and I have been through it all these past few years. Only a few people know the full story. Just last year we were hanging on by a thread... there was lots of anger and tears and marriage counseling and tweaking this and tweaking that, and I'm only writing this now because I'm confident we've come out on the other side.  (oh, and you thought you knew everything about us by reading this blog? proof that blogs are just a peek, right here!)

But what is the point in telling you all this? Have we discovered the perfect formula for a successful marriage? I wish we did, folks, I wish we did. I wanted to express to you, though, that it's OK if your story doesn't look like a fairytale. Ours started out pretty blissful, but fairytales leave off at happily ever after, don't they? They never really get into the real stuff about cohabiting with someone, about traveling through life with them and taking the hard punches together, making babies together and the stresses that entails, changing together as humans often do, and continuing to love despite that change. So many marriages end in divorce because people are too quick to peace out when they get to the part about marriage is hard work. They think, "yeah, but not this kind of hard work. This is grounds for divorce, for sure." But the truth is that the hard work will look different for everyone. Maybe it will be harder hard work for some than for others, depending on circumstances. But as long as you still have real love for each other and are willing to accept a person as they are, you have what you need. The work part comes in changing yourself, almost 100% of the time. That much I have learned to be true.

I'm not advocating dysfunctional relationships. I'm not saying you should ever stay in one that makes you miserable and drags you down. Life is too short for that. But I remember when we were going through some of our hardest periods last year, and I would ask Matthew if he still loved me. Every time, he would choke up and say yes, without hesitation. And I knew he was worth it, and I knew I wanted us, and I knew he wanted us. When your hearts are in the right place, you find a way to make it.  Gold is only purified by fire... remember that.

*****

The following excerpt was read at our wedding. Ironic that I chose this piece. I love it more today than I ever loved it before.

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth….
But if in your fear you would only seek love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover you nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing floor,
Into a seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course…
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

~ from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran 

Our first dance was to this song... still one of my favorites. :)

Foodheads

Foodheads is just another delicious and perfectly charming restaurant in Austin that I thought you all should know about (specifically if you're from around here and can actually go try this place out).  My mom and I had lunch there the other day and were really delighted by the character of the place, like in the mismatched old antique tables and chairs and desks used as tables (what a neat idea!), bright and fresh flowers nestled in little glass vases, colorful plastic cups for your drinks, and even a little library wall stocked with worn old books. I was in heaven.

Here's a few photos from the place... try it out, if you're in town!

Here are past Austin recommendation posts, if you'd like to browse!

Lazy Day Cottage

Ladies and gents, if you like parties and pretty packaging and giving gifts, then this shop and today's $50 shop credit giveaway might just make your life. Lazy Day Cottage on Etsy has page upon page of adorable gift tags, stickers, cupcake toppers, and more, so the winner of this shop credit could potentially take home a mother load of goodies. I made a little collage of items you might choose if you won, so take a look and throw your name in the hat via the Rafflecopter below. :) Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How are you doing on your New Year's goals?

a picture from Instagram of my new glasses, just because.

This morning I had planned to put up a different post, but instead of diving right into my work, I did something I've been meaning to do every morning in the month of January, but majorly dropped the ball on: beginning my day with a "quiet time." For me, quiet time includes mostly prayer and visualization of achieved goals, and lasts about 5 to 10 minutes (that's all I seem to have the attention span for, for pretty much anything these days). For you, quiet time may or may not include prayer, and it might happen in the shower or while you're nursing your baby or on the car ride in to work or right there at your desk before your day begins. I'm trying to remember that there's no wrong way to do a quiet time--the point is to get yourself centered each morning - to get your head in the game - focusing on what you want to accomplish, and ready to work towards your goals.

Goals. Speaking of those, how did you do on your resolutions in January? I wrote down some overarching goals at the beginning of last month, and like I mentioned in this post, I put bright neon stickers on the first of each month in my calendar throughout the remainder of the year, to remind me to revisit and reevaluate those goals every month. It's already the 4th of February now, but I still sat down and took a look at what I'd written out last month, and as it happens, I only followed through with ONE of the five most major ones I wanted to accomplish in January (the one I followed through on was to blog at least 6 of my backlogged photo sessions, and I blogged 8, over on my photography blog. Hooray!).

I was pretty disappointed, though, to see that I hadn't done the other four pretty major things I wanted to  have completed last month, and it got me thinking about the difference between successful people and people who never quite get things done. I think the difference is FOCUS and ACTION. My husband is the most focused and action-oriented person I have ever know, and it's why he succeeds at anything and everything he puts his mind to. Because while the rest of us are twiddling our thumbs and talking about and writing about and dreaming about our goals, the successful people are making it happen through whatever means it takes. Writing those emails, making those calls, putting in late hours, making big sacrifices, setting priorities, taking risks, putting themselves out there, doing hard or tedious things that other people don't have patience for, and so on.

So I guess the conclusion that I've come to is that, no, January wasn't a complete loss just because I only accomplished one of my five goals. It was a learning experience, and a chance to tweak how I'm doing things to ensure that MORE of those goals get reached in the month of February. Months serve as excellent mile-markers, but change comes in the decisions we make right now, in the present. Action-oriented decisions, like to have a quiet time in the morning and get centered, and then lay out your list of actions needed to get you where you need to be. But the most critical part is in the doing them.

Lastly, if you're not deeply offended by a little strong language, go read this article titled "6 harsh truths that will make you a better person." It seriously blew my mind, and opened my eyes (it's hilarious, too). What you DO really is all that matters.

SO GO DO STUFF.

Misikko Valentine's Day Special

You may recall I've written a couple reviews for Misikko.com in the past  (the first for a hair dryer, the second for a flat iron), and today I have the pleasure of once again filling you all in on the good stuff going on over there at Misikko! These fine folks sent me over a curling iron to try out this time, and also so that I could show you how darn awesome their Valentine's Day swag box is.  If there are any guys out there reading... hello?! PERFECT Valentine's Day gift for the lady in your life. You can shop Valentine's boxes here (Misikko's top rated items).

This is what my particular box arrived looking like:

top layer: faux roses, teddy bear, bath petals, cute heart thingees.

bottom layer: your styling product of choice, makeup brush, lipgloss, eyelash curler, and case for your styling tool.

I am basically a failure as a woman, because I have never, not even once, owned a curling iron or even attempted to curl my hair with one. I sometimes use my flat iron to make curls, but this curling iron thing.... all new to me. And it's funny, because learning a new tool makes one (me, anyway) feel like the biggest loser in the world. I must have watched 14 curling iron tutorials on YouTube, burned my fingers, hands, and ears about that many times, and generally felt like I had two left hands (I am right-handed). BUT, I finally started to get the hang of it, especially after poor Shalyn came over and helped me (thanks Shayboo!). Here's a few photos from my lesson... I'll have to do another post with a full head of waves!

I certainly don't blame Misikko for my ineptitude in the hair-curling department. This curling iron was fantastic, and the package it came in was really over-the-top awesome. Misikko makes their customers feel special and goes above and beyond to provide you with the best buying experience. The swag box is always awesome (see my first and second reviews for proof!), only this time it's Valentine's Day themed (packages here). So certainly consider this fine website for all your hair styling needs... or email this post to your men who might need a little hint on a gift for you. :) Happy Weekend!

*note: the curling iron I have above is not on the website yet, but there are lots of other great ones here.